Yo Diary,I'm back! Bet you've missed me. But really, what kinda man wastes his time clutching at a bird's feather and getting his fingers blue spilling his soul onto the pages of a diary, for God's sake? ...The kinds that needs his Mum to find him a date for Valentine's maybe.
The waitress thing didn't pan out, turns out she's not interested in any guy that doesn't cook. Women's lib, I tell you. Things are so desperate, I nearly asked Juliet out. Who am I kidding. I did ask Juliet out. She has a date already, some distant cousin of mine. She offered, very prettily, to stand him up... wretch!... but I don't feel up to dueling for her hand. Particularly given it may not be the effort it took to get it.
So there we are. Suggestions? Recommendations? Aw, what am I saying, you aren't like the evil possessed diary in Harry Potter. You're just a diary, and Valentine's is just a marketing scam Shakespeare invented to ensure his plays were watched.
